Over 40 million gallons of milk is dumped into fields, lagoons, and landfills every year. ...And it demonstrates everything that's wrong with our socioeconomic system.
People love to pretend our market economy simply maximizes efficiency and happiness. “Humankind has never seen anything better than good ol’ American capitalism”, they like to yell out the window of their pickup trucks with a couple of confused migrant workers kidnapped in the back. But in reality, the invisible hand of the free market belongs to a drunk evil villain with his other hand slowly petting a hairless cat.
In order to explain how, I have to first ask you this question: Do you still drink a glass of milk? Ever? Probably not. And that means our society is collapsing.
(I know that's a weird question, but I've never claimed to be normal. I've claimed to be a lot of things — ambidextrous, a terrible dancer, the last person in the world you want to babysit your kid — but I've never claimed to be normal. Besides, normal is boring. We don't have much time on this strange rock. Existence is fleeting. So why spend it "fitting in"? I've never wanted to fit in. That’s not true; I very much wanted to fit in from the age of zero to 17. Then I realized it was a fool’s errand. No one should seek normal. That's half the problem with our society — everyone is trying so hard to be regular, to allow cultural hegemony to just wash over them, but when was the last time anyone excitedly told people how normal they were? Or got an award for being the most normal — which is an oxymoron to begin with? "This year we give the trophy for not standing out to... DAN! Come on up here, Dan. You must find this moment horrifying." Point being: Don't be normal, bland, typical, or harmonious. Be strange, weird, bizarre, and perplexing. And if you find yourself so unusual that no one wants to hang out with you anymore, then maybe back it off a little and think about putting your pants back on.)
Back to the question: Do you still drink cow milk? Like the mucus that shoots out of the penis-looking things under a cow? I don't know anyone who does. I don't even know that many people who force that stuff on their kids anymore. And don't worry, the point of this column is not to inform you how disgusting milk is. I'm not going to waste your time with sentences like, "What are you crazy?! Shoving all those hormones and antibiotics down your kid’s throat??" ...I'm not going to say that.
No, my point is that people don't really drink much bovine juice anymore and our response to this new reality reveals how inefficient, poorly planned, and troublesome our society is. Milk has faded as a standard American beverage, hanging out on the forgotten grocery store shelves with 7Up and Tang. My personal belief is that milk has slipped from our cultural consciousness because there are so many other options of drinkables that don’t squirt out of hooved animals. The shelves boastfully display almond milk — or truthfully almond juice — soy juice, cashew juice, rice juice, which I think they call Rice Dream for some reason. (I'm sorry, no one dreams about fucking rice juice. And if you do dream about it, get a hobby for the love of god! Become a boating enthusiast or an arsonist or something, because you’re dreaming about rice and that’s not normal. ...The bad kind of not normal, not the good kind of not normal.)
So how is the dairy industry dealing with the waning need for their product? Are they backing off? Are they shrinking in size? Are they going out of business? Of course not — because capitalism requires infinite growth. Therefore, the dairy industry makes the same amount of milk as always and simply dumps it out. I kid you not. Roughly nine million dairy cows saunter around the farms of America, and it's not uncommon for producers to simply purge millions of gallons of extra bovine juice into ditches and landfills and lagoons.
Here’s from the Wall Street Journal a few years ago: "More than 43 million gallons’ worth of milk were dumped... (To read the rest of this excerpt from Lee Camp's new e-book Dangerous Ideas, become a paying supporter. You will also receive the entire e-book as a gift for becoming a member.)